Thinking about Nerdishness

Right now, I really wish I was a vlogger.

(+ I'm really tempted to start vlogging)

Why? Because I just watched Charlieissocoollike (yes, like many other teenage girls I subscribe to Charlie's channel, shoot me) Nerd-off video and it's made me realise just how much of a Nerd I truly am.

And I love it. <3

Here comes a list:

1) Harry Potter. 

Plain and simple. I am one of the biggest HP Fangirls out there, and if I could I would discuss HP 24/7 I would be living a very happy life. 

At present, I own  over 70 copies of the Harry Potter books. And I want to double my collection by this time next year.

I've been to a HP convention. It was the best weekend of my life. Hands down.

I listen to the audio books every day.

Leaky is my homepage.

I listen to PotterCast.

My aim in life is to meet JKR.

I'm going to the DH premier to try and complete this aim.

If I can get her to autograph my upper arm, I will get it tattooed.

I have 4 HP tattoos planned... but I have a needle-phobia so they might have to wait. :(

My original PS, the diary I kept whilst reading DH for the first time and my original PS movie poster are 3 of my most prized possessions.

I would never give up Harry Potter for anyone.

2) Disney

I'm also a disney fangirl. If I won the lottery, the first thing I would do is book to spend the week before Christmas in Disneyland.

3) Doctor Who

Do I really need to say that I'm a Dr Who fan? I'm also a Pond costumer, as I've said... that's gotta put me up on the Nerd front.

I'm also a fan of Chameleon Circuit... and also adore Charlie's rendition of The Big Bang 2.

4) Using quotes from HP, Doctor Who etc in everyday conversation makes me smile.

(Especially when nobody notices... or when someone does and starts a nerd-based conversation)

5) I subscribe to many 'famous' vloggers on YouTube

(But I have yet to start vlogging myself)

6) Friends

What can I say? I'm a 90's kid.

7) I met my best friend online. Because of Harry Potter.

And not only my best friend, I've made dozens of amazing friends due to being a Nerd. Online, at conventions etc. They are amazing, and they understand me.

8) Conventions in general

Not only have I been to a Harry Potter conventions, but I've also been to:

Two Twilight cons (Don't judge me... I was young)

A True Blood Convention

LFCC 2010

And, thus far, 4 (I think) Dr Who events as Pond.

They are amazing and I just wish I had the money to go to more of them.

9) Musicals

I can recite every word from Les Miserables...

And Wicked.

And most of RENT.

And Avenue Q.

And The Lion King (here we combine musical love with Disney love to make AWESOME).

10) Cricket

Here I'm not super-nerdy... but I do adore Cricket and my Christmas present this year is a membership to Warwickshire County Cricket Club. <3

I think I'll stop there... there is probably much more about me that is Nerdy that I've forgotten to add. 

See why I want to vlog about this? I would totally win the Nerd-off.

fin.

TTFN.

A blog about education

So yesterday I saw a youtube video that really got me thinking. And really freaked me out.

It was an RSAnimate to a talk by Sir Ken Robinson about changing education paradigms.

Not really selling it you you am I?

Trust me, it was amazing.

It was so true.

And it was so fucking scary.

It made me realise that even as a 2nd year student in a 'top' university I am no more guaranteed a job than the next person.

Why?

Because everyone, it seems, will be as equally qualified when I go to get a job in 2 years time. The education system in this country is fucked up. Basically. This talk pretty much said that we are educating children in this country as if we were still in the industrial era, and that if we want kids to learn then we need to keep up with the technological era what we are now in. Otherwise kids will get bored.

So last night in my flat we had a bit of a discussion about the university education that we are all receiving.

I can't remember the exact figures, but we were discussing how 20 years ago maybe 3% of the population got a university education... now it maybe 20%.

So even though, in theory, I am against the rise in university fees... it may actually help stop the rise in 'mickey mouse' degrees that devalue my own degree.

I am a Psychology student.

I am a student of BSc Psychology at the University of Birmingham, 3rd in the country for research... well it was in 2009, I dunno about now.

But, many people think of Psychology as a cop out subject.

Many, many people with 'bad' A levels do Psychology at 'bad' universities.

Thus, it gets a bad name.

However, what people don't realise is that there is a BIG difference between BA Psychology and BSc Psychology.

BA Psychology isn't accredited by the BPS and as such is pretty much worthless.

BSc Psychology is a SCIENCE. And is fucking difficult.


</rant>

I've also realised that I have little idea what I want to do with my life.

And that is really freaking me out right now.

Apparently now is the time I'm supposed to be making those decisions.

I'm 19, FFS!

I've barely completed my second decade of life and I'm supposed to be deciding how to spend the rest of it.

Well I'm not ready for that right now, so the world can just wait, I'm sure it won't mind.

TTFN.

I can't believe I'm about to quote this

It's been an odd day.

I've felt quite down for it most of it, and I'm still waist deep in uni work.

I can't believe I'm actually about to quote a Hannah Montana song, but I heard this the other day and right now it really sums up some of the feelings I've had today.

I'm just an ordinary girl

Sometimes I'm lazy

I get bored

I get scared

I feel ignored

I feel happy, I get silly

I choke on my own words

I make wishes, I have dreams

And I still want to believe

Anything can happen in this world, 

For an ordinary girl

Another thing you need to know about me:

I don't believe in 'fate'

So I really connect with this section of that song, especially that anything can happen to an 'ordinary girl'. I believe we make our own 'luck' and that fate is nonsense;  everything we do leads to what we become. I like to think that I am not on a predestined path, that my choices make who I am.

But my thoughts on fate aren't what I'm supposed to be blogging about today.

My blog yesterday highlighted my worries about Amy and how I hate the jealously and bitchyness  that follows her. 

And, of course my insecurities. 

"I get scared

I feel ignored"

Today I felt ignored. Left out.

I hate these feelings, they really bring me down. 

I especially hate thinking that people who I know and like are happy to make me feel this way.

But of course they don't know that they are doing this so it's not really their fault.

I'm not gonna blog my reasons for feeling this way, there are some things that the internet just doesn't need to know. But:

I'm no actress.

I've never claimed to be. I never will be. I'm too insecure 

But I feel that some people are disappointed with me because of this.

Oh well. Fuck it. 

I'm a Psychologist, not an Actress.

I'm a Nerd, not an Actress.

I'm a Dancer, not an Actress.

And most importantly:

I'm a Lookalike, not an Actress.

TTFN.

A few changes and a lot of thinking...

So, recently... I've become crazy busy.

And for some reason this has lead me to blogging...

Dunno how that happened.

I'm now a Second year at Birmingham University, studying BSc. Psychology with Honours, and FUCK it's dawned on me A) how important this year is to my life and B) how much work I have to do.

But, there is more to me that just being a Uni student.

I'm also a huge nerd.

And by nerd I don't mean academics... I mean science fiction. Mainly Harry Potter with a bit of Doctor Who on the side.

Yeah

So, I've done conventions for about the past 18 months because of the nerd-ness.

But only in July of this year did I decide to attempt to cosplay as Amy Pond.

Why did I do this? Simple: I love dressing up, love Doctor Who and think I look like her.

Hair: Check

Height: Check

Body: Check

Legs: Check

Add a costume thrown together in 24 hours from things I already owned, and voila.

So really, it was very lazy costuming that lead me to her.

I love it. So much. I really do.

Not only have I met some amazing people through it, as I do at any convention I go to...

But mainly because I'm not the most confident person, and when I'm dressed as Amy I get so many compliments it's unreal. It's odd, in a way, as I'm so not used to that. At all.

You can call me egotistical if you like, I really don't care. Why? Because:

I was always the funny looking geeky kid that got bullied.

For fourteen years of school that is all I was.

Now, because of Amy I actually feel good about myself... occasionally. But at least that is something.

So, I have a lot to thank her for.

BUT

I also have a lot to hate her for.

Amy brought me this amazing new found sense of confidence, yes. But she also brought more drama than I can cope with.

One thing you should know about me: I HATE drama and confrontation

I hate arguments.

I hate bitchyness.

I. Hate. Jealousy.

And Amy has brought a hell of a lot of that into my life.

So, however much I love playing her... I think to myself an awful lot: is she worth it?

As I said, I have so so so much work on at uni right now I wonder if I have the time and energy to play her for much longer.

But I also feel that if I give her up then that is a choice that I will regret forever. Lets face it, my time costuming as Amy is short, a few years at the very most... so maybe I should keep her for now and try and ignore the jealousy.

Eugh. Another thing about me:

I fail at making decisions.

TTFN.