I can't believe I'm about to quote this

It's been an odd day.

I've felt quite down for it most of it, and I'm still waist deep in uni work.

I can't believe I'm actually about to quote a Hannah Montana song, but I heard this the other day and right now it really sums up some of the feelings I've had today.

I'm just an ordinary girl

Sometimes I'm lazy

I get bored

I get scared

I feel ignored

I feel happy, I get silly

I choke on my own words

I make wishes, I have dreams

And I still want to believe

Anything can happen in this world, 

For an ordinary girl

Another thing you need to know about me:

I don't believe in 'fate'

So I really connect with this section of that song, especially that anything can happen to an 'ordinary girl'. I believe we make our own 'luck' and that fate is nonsense;  everything we do leads to what we become. I like to think that I am not on a predestined path, that my choices make who I am.

But my thoughts on fate aren't what I'm supposed to be blogging about today.

My blog yesterday highlighted my worries about Amy and how I hate the jealously and bitchyness  that follows her. 

And, of course my insecurities. 

"I get scared

I feel ignored"

Today I felt ignored. Left out.

I hate these feelings, they really bring me down. 

I especially hate thinking that people who I know and like are happy to make me feel this way.

But of course they don't know that they are doing this so it's not really their fault.

I'm not gonna blog my reasons for feeling this way, there are some things that the internet just doesn't need to know. But:

I'm no actress.

I've never claimed to be. I never will be. I'm too insecure 

But I feel that some people are disappointed with me because of this.

Oh well. Fuck it. 

I'm a Psychologist, not an Actress.

I'm a Nerd, not an Actress.

I'm a Dancer, not an Actress.

And most importantly:

I'm a Lookalike, not an Actress.

TTFN.